Facing Fears

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As I was typing in the title of this post I realized I had mistakenly typed “Racing Fears” and chuckled at how that would have been just as apt.

I have a fear of new things (still haven’t used my sewing machine), new places/people, and new projects. Tomorrow is a new projects day. My entryway is currently home to approximately 110 lbs of apples and pears. Yes, you heard me, please don’t ask me to repeat it.

I’ve never canned before. I’m terrified to try, but my freezers are full (praise the Lord) and I’ve run out of options. Can or bust. I’m not even sure what I’m scared of other than the sheer size of the mountain. I saw a piece of art in the Etsy shop thedreamygiraffe today that seemed quite apropos, it was a picture of a big bed and says:

“The Only Monsters Hiding Under The Bed Are The Ones You Put There In Your Head.”

So true.

So I will quiet down my head and put truth there instead: I can do ALL THINGS!

Tomorrow I can…

Hello, again…

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How does one return from a seven month sabbatical? Especially one taken with no notice? Does “Hi, guys! How’s it been?” without any reference to ones absence cut it? I’ve been in relationships that have been handled in that way and didn’t enjoy the approach, so let’s not choose that route.

Let’s try this one, the short explanation with a request for grace: after losing our last baby, the Lord gave me three weeks before conceiving again. I was in no way emotionally prepared for that and was physically in even worse shape. For all intents and purposes I had been in the first trimester of a pregnancy (three in a row) since last August and my body crumpled under the stress. No exaggeration, Erik and I were wondering if I was dying by the time I hit the second trimester and snapped back. It’s been a long summer of baby growing (he’s doing great!), caring for my neighbor’s boys, Erik travelling for work, and selling our rental property (good riddance!). I’ve missed writing greatly and hope to be able to dive back in full speed (you know, like a post a week or so).

I’m so glad to be back!!!

A Home I’ll Never See

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It’s been a month since The Great Loss befell our family. The baby I was carrying in the warm, loving embrace of my womb was called Home to the warm and loving embrace of our Savior…

This is the third of our children to have gone Home to Him before us. I’ve been sad before, but this Loss knocked us all off our feet. I never knew the gut wrenching level of emotion in that four letter mourning word: keen.

People always say that parents should never have to bury their children. I agree. I also wish a child should never have to know the loss of a dear sibling. What words truly bring comfort to the little heart crying out that she wants to die too so she can be with her brother? Words of Truth are shared. Tears are allowed to flow. Small bodies are wrapped in large arms and sleep comes, but the pain remains for another day…

My body has finished its painful cleaning out of the humble room that has been abandoned. It is unable to carry away the dull throbbing that has replaced the steady beating of my heart. Our family continues to find joy in each other, but some days the smiles come slower and with greater effort.

Our small ones comfort themselves by circling their family close about them and telling stories of the home we’ll never see this side of eternity. A home which only existed within our hope and was snuffed out like a candle.

We rejoice that we have an eternal hope and that our Loss is not a forever separation, and look with joy towards that day when we will be together again in a place where there are no tears…

My Sweet BabiesMy Sweet Babies

Moving On Mondays: Week 4

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After taking last week off from Moving on Mondays due to throwing a birthday party and packing for a lovely anniversary trip with my Man, we are back and at it again!

How was your week? See anything go?

I think the item I saw Move On to a new home that stands out in my mind the most would be my Great-Grandmother Theresa’s high school graduation ring. I wore it a fair amount through my late teens, but it has spent the majority of the past decade living in either a box or on the top of a fingernail polish bottle (I find them to be the perfect width for storing my rings while I’m in the shower).

My sister Alison (Lissy) was here for Inara’s birthday last weekend. She was always very close to our Great-Grandma and one of my clearest memories of Great-Grandma was her patiently sitting while little Alison was decorating her face with a sheet of stickers. Her eyes were so pretty when she would laugh! I gave Lissy the ring. I think she will give it more use than I would at this point and I think she will appreciate it even more than I did.

Are there items you hold on to because they are family heirlooms that you could give to a family member who would appreciate it even more than you do (Sharon: I still want those chess pieces!)? Pass them on and share your story here!

Moving On Mondays: Week 2

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Okay, okay! I know today is Tuesday Wednesday Thursday, but we’re going for the spirit of things here and it was done by Monday!

This week I decided to focus on a kitchen cabinet that was in shambles. I love having help with dishes, but the cabinet was so precisely loaded that if you didn’t know where one piece fit into the puzzle you would quickly find yourself faced with this:

Kitchen Cabinet Before Shot

I believe if you click on the picture you can see a close-up of all its glorious near calamity.

This is what I parted with while reorganizing in the kitchen:

  • 2 bundt pans
  • garlic roaster I’ve enjoyed the thought of it for the past two years, but seeing as how I have yet to use it, it was time to lose it!
  • random bowl
  • 4 popsicle molds
  • recycled a rusty lid
  • tossed a stowaway pinto bean
  • disposed of a cracked blender piece
  • a purposeless serving tray (I think that’s what it was anyway. Never was sure.)
  • salad dressing jar
  • some stray lids
  • a scissors shield (for scissors we no longer possess)
  • recycled a cardboard box (technically this was from the bathroom, but it was done during an intermission from the kitchen project so we’re counting it!)
  • 2 vases

Not too shabby! This is what we were left with:

Kitchen Cabinet After Shot

Also this week, I said sayonara to the dish of 16 unidentified pills that’s been on the hutch for the past four months. As it has yet to come  to me what they are, out they went!

How about you? What did you part with to lighten your load this week?

Please share in the comments!

 

Moving on Mondays: Week 1

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Here we are ladies and gents! Our first official Moving On Monday! Last week was a rocky week around here, but I had managed to move a good deal out at the beginning of the week, so I met and exceeded the five items goal for the week. Here’s what we saw “move on” in the past week of our belongings:

  • 1 Placemat (these seem to be hiding all over the house)
  • 54 Magazines/Catalogues (good riddance!) 
  • 2 old cell phones
  • 1 Box of papers/cds from an old business
  • 8 Readers Digests (over half of them never even got opened!)
  • 1 broken umbrella
  • 24 books
  • 4 cookbook binders (3 still in the shrink wrap- 5 years old)
  • 1 mirror
  • 1 ugly scarecrow decoration still in the box
  • 1 leotard
  • 1 wallhanging
  • 3 Baskets
  • 1 pair bunny baby girl slippers still w/tags on two kids later
  • 1 old name tag
  • 1 pair of Erik’s old work dress shoes
  • 1 messenger shoulder bag
  • 6 pairs kids shoes
  • 10 Giant My Little Ponies
  • 2 Winter Coats
  • 1 Purse (and all the crap I emptied out of it into the trash)
  • 1 Xmas ornament
  • 2 balls of dried out playdough
  • 2 nasty gummy worm toys
  • 1 shirt collar (it’s better to not know about some things)
  • 1 bottle of toxic sunscreen
  • 1 lonely chopstick
  • 1 Juicer (cool story here, for another day!)
  • 1 plastic random kitchen item
  • 1 phone book
  • 2 t-shirts
  • 1 book missing its binding
  • 1 dried out pen/countless dried out markers
  • 8 defunct cloth diapers
  • 1 rock (now living on the front porch)
  • 1 Ugly old bracelet that had been reduced to naught but a pile of ugly old beads on the floor
  • 2 disposable swim diapers (these things are beyond worthless. have your kid wear one instead of a diaper one day and you’ll see/feel what I mean!)
  • 2 large jars of dried beans mixed with wheat letter noodles from our pre-GF days
  • 1 bag of frozen neck bones to complement the afore mentioned beans
  • 1 plastic horse
  • 1 roll of fabric
  • 1 pair tennis shoes
  • 18 clothing patterns
  • another place mat
  • 1 gardeners bag
  • 8 crafting books
  • 15 cookbooks
  • 7 crafting magazines
  • 1 baby shopping cart cover

That’s all folks!

What about you? What did you part with to bring more peace to your lives this week?

Some of you have told me on Facebook about your own progress, but let’s share here too to encourage everyone!

A Respite From My Belongings

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You may have caught my comment about kicking over 175 items out of my home on New Years Eve. You may even have thought highly of me: “Wow! That Ambre must really have it together! I could never do that! That’s amazing!” (At least that’s how I feel when I read about other women who are purging their space.) Thank, you, but you really are too kind. It’s incredible to me how little actual space is freed up by the removal of 175 items. It sure felt like that junk took up more space than it freed up. sigh. Either way, I thought I would share with you what those items were to start your mental wheels a turning as to what you can/should part with if you are looking for ways to simplify your life this year as well.

Here goes:

  • 48 articles of clothing
  • 4 plastic cups
  • 2 partial bags of rice
  • 49 books
  • 6 pieces of Pyrex
  • Tablecloth
  • 5 Place mats (I’ve accepted that we’re not one of those families)
  • Lamaze Play Mat
  • 2 H2O bottles
  • 2 Old Calendars (one of these was from 2007. Don’t judge.)
  • 2 Boxes
  • Threw my daughter’s favorite pants in the trash. Sorry kid. Two gaping holes is over the allowable limit.
  • shelf
  • 4 jars
  • 5 containers of (way) expired spices and teas
  • 1 Murse (Erik clarified, again, that he is not a metro and will not carry a man bag. Whatever, dude.)
  • 3 Magazines
  • Broken Oil spray bottle
  • Banana Tree
  • 17 pairs girls shoes, 6 pairs women’s shoes
  • Veggie Steamer
  • Stone Bowl
  • Wooden bowl
  • ducks feet (gave some to a friend for stock)
  • Canning Pan
  • Hand Mixer
  • Battery Operated Fan
  • Coupon Organizer
  • Tons of randoms into the trash

If I can do it, so can you! Let’s do it together! Come here on Mondays and we can all share what has left our home for another in the past week. Let’s make it a goal to see at least five things go a week.

Moving On Mondays!

Who’s with me?!?

12 for 2012

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I have chosen twelve goals for this year. They are as follows:

My first finished quilt circa 2007

  1. Have another baby at home. (being nine weeks pregnant sees me fully on track for success here. I like it!)
  2. Harvest and preserve my own Oregano. My wonderful Uncle Mark gifted me with a ginormous oregano patch two years ago. The first year I didn’t harvest more than I could use to give the plant time to establish. Last year my dear friends dog spent months peeing on it. (Yuck!) But this year, I foresee no reason for continuing to buy something my yard is profuse in producing.
  3. Continue purging my home of items in an attempt to live a more simple life. (500 items gone) Quite frankly, my “things” are completely out of control. Do you ever feel that the items you own to “help make your life easier” are in fact preventing you from being able to live said life? Yeah. I’m there. I started this year by saying good-bye to over 175 items yesterday to give myself some momentum towards this ideal of a 500 item purge.
  4. Read 55 books. One can never have too many read books under ones belt. My list for the year will be soon forthcoming. Feel free to join me on some of the titles!
  5. Acquire a taste for liver. This is one of those “in my best interest” aims. Liver is akin to eating a multivitamin and the best whole food source of iron (which I need tons of while pregnant). I went from hating to loving coconut four years ago, by God’s grace. I know I can at least learn to not gag over liver!
  6. Learn to identify 5 herbs and their uses. This is one of those under-achieving goals seeing as how I will be quite disappointed with myself if in reality I learn less than ten.
  7. Teach my eldest daughter to read. Seeing as how her ambition is to learn to read, I figured it was only right for mine to be to figure out how best to teach her. Curriculum ordered! Let the learning games begin!
  8. Read though the Bible in chronological order. I made it midway through February last year. This is my year though… I can feel it. (Erik just decided this was his year too so we’ll be doing it together! Yay!)
  9. Finish the upstairs bathroom. We started this project before the last baby came and it hasn’t progressed much since her birth. Really, this is Erik’s project, but I have the responsibility of freeing him up to do it. We also still need to agree on a color seeing as he won’t let me paint it the purple that’s on the wall board. After two and a half years of staring at it, the girls and I find it to be a comfortable hue. :)
  10. Learn to shoot. We bought our almost five year old an airgun rifle for Christmas. Now Erik and I need our own to practice with her. It will bring up one step closer to our family hankering of harvesting our own game.
  11. Finish my quilt. I may, or may not, have started a quilt just under five years ago (okay, I totally did). I have definitely started and finished two other quilts since then (for others), but alas, not mine. This is the year I get over my fear of my new machine and just do it. I also promised to make the boys quilts for Christmas two years ago so who knows, maybe I’ll get around to being faithful to that end as well!
  12. Learn to Knit. I’m not interested in being “the best knitter the world has ever seen!” I just want to make a baby blanket and some wash clothes. Man, do I love knit wash clothes in the kitchen!

Well, there you have it! Twelve of my hopes and dreams for the year. May the Lord go before me!

What are your goals?